We all know which one it is. We all want it.
It's the Good Seat.
Every restaurant, coffee shop, book store, patio or any other place with table seating has them. They're the seats that face the action. They're in the perfect spot. They can see it all. They're Good.
The last thing I want to do, as a single male, is to go out with my friends and not get the Good Seat. I should be the one to get the Good Seat, right? I'm the one with the chances of actually partaking in any of the action, right?
Wrong. I take the shitter. I give up the Good Seat for my married friends, literally, all the time. It's the right thing to do. They're the ones going home to the same woman every night, at least give them the joy of having the Good Seat at dinner, you selfish SOB.
I've grown accustomed to letting my friends walk in front of me, so that they may take the Seat with the view, while I linger behind like a dusted crop and take the wall-view. I'm forced to watch them, watching the action.
Such a cruel punishment, isn't it?
Watching them look around, smile or nod at who the hell knows what, laugh or point at whatever it is going on behind you, in the action, in the thick of it all, so much awesome shit is happening right behind you, you effing moron, but no, you had to be the nice guy, you had to give up the right to see all the awesomeness cause you wanted to give your buddy the Good Seat.
Ya know what? Eff your buddy. He's the guy that went and got married. He deserves to be watching you watch the action, not the other way around.
So tonight I demanded a flip flop. Yep. Right then and there. I was in the Bad Seat, he was in the Good Seat. He was all wide eyed and smiley and I'd had enough.
'I want the Good Seat.' I said. Firmly. He asked why. I told him I was tired of looking at him and the wall.
He knew I was serious. And I was. So he caved. And we flipped.
A grown man can only take so much of watching another grown man have fun without demanding to be included. This was my breaking point. I reached it.
In conclusion, all you nice guys and girls out there taking the Bad Seat for your engaged, coupled off, of married friends: Stand up for yourself.
Let your voices be heard! Why waste a Good Seat on someone who has already chosen their seat.
Single people: Take the Good Seat Back.