Seriously. It can wait. It's not that important. How selfish of you to think it's such an important thing that you just have to do it today. You're so selfish. Tomorrow will be just as good as today, only it's further away.
But what if there's no tomorrow, you ask? Let's not play the 'what if' game, okay. Not now. Not right now. Please. What if we don't ask what if?
Exactly.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Just a Thought
To the homeless people of Santa Monica: move to Nebraska. You'd live like kings. It's like 5 bucks a week to live there. Why stay homeless in one of the most expensive cities in the world when you can live on a hundred acres somewhere else?
Think it through people.
Think it through people.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Webosaurs Launch Party Pics and Feedback!
The Dallas World Aquarium hosted our Webosaurs.com Launch Party Event!
It went swimmingly. Get it.
Here are some pics!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/39289329@N03/
And check out what kids are saying about the game (and a recent shield design I drew)--
TheJester Says:
July 27th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
You Guys Here At Webosaurs Are GENIUS!!! This Is The Best Online Game I’ve Ever Played (and I’ve played alot of online games). Keep Up The Good Work
Gekko Says:
July 27th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
Wow!! This is great!! Talk about a perfect design!!
Teslo Says:
July 27th, 2009 at 10:00 am
HOLY VOLCANO!!!
Now that’s a cool shield!
Darkcartman Says:
July 27th, 2009 at 9:42 am
Im speechless…. because i love them
Chipmunk Says:
July 27th, 2009 at 9:28 am
The beta shields are simply AWESOME!!!! They’re excellent! Thank you Webosaurs!!! Keep up the good work! They’re super GREAT!!!
It went swimmingly. Get it.
Here are some pics!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/39289329@N03/
And check out what kids are saying about the game (and a recent shield design I drew)--
TheJester Says:
July 27th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
You Guys Here At Webosaurs Are GENIUS!!! This Is The Best Online Game I’ve Ever Played (and I’ve played alot of online games). Keep Up The Good Work
Gekko Says:
July 27th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
Wow!! This is great!! Talk about a perfect design!!
Teslo Says:
July 27th, 2009 at 10:00 am
HOLY VOLCANO!!!
Now that’s a cool shield!
Darkcartman Says:
July 27th, 2009 at 9:42 am
Im speechless…. because i love them
Chipmunk Says:
July 27th, 2009 at 9:28 am
The beta shields are simply AWESOME!!!! They’re excellent! Thank you Webosaurs!!! Keep up the good work! They’re super GREAT!!!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Art of Webosaurs
I just added a new 'WEBOSAURS' link on my website to show some of the hundreds of drawings I've done over the past year and a half!
Webosaurs.com is in open BETA testing now and I realize it's high time I post the fruits of my labors.
It's so strange looking at this art together again ( I only posted a portion of it..no landscape sketches or recent branding materials, no Graphic User Icons or merchandise designs, no NAV tool bars or Logo Exploration...Whoa...I left out a lot...I'll add all that soon!!)
I've never worked so long on one project before, especially one that I've been the creative director of. Usually CD's don't draw too much. It's more of an 'over-seeing' position. Wellp, for that to be the case, ya have to have someone to oversee. And there was no one else for quite some time. :)
So many hours spent drawing this stuff, concepting a world, creating memories that hopefully resonate with kids everywhere. And the launch is only the beginning for Webosaurs. Only the beginning, I tells ya!! Mwhahawahaha.
Ahem.
Anyway-go check it out if ya get the chance...
www.juiceharder.com
Click on the 'webosaurs' option on the top header.
And fer cryssakes get any kids you know to play the game....that means YOU, teachers! It's educational, fun, safe, and funny. And it's getting quite a following so far...just youtube 'Webosaurs' and see the videos kids are making.
Webosaurs.com is in open BETA testing now and I realize it's high time I post the fruits of my labors.
It's so strange looking at this art together again ( I only posted a portion of it..no landscape sketches or recent branding materials, no Graphic User Icons or merchandise designs, no NAV tool bars or Logo Exploration...Whoa...I left out a lot...I'll add all that soon!!)
I've never worked so long on one project before, especially one that I've been the creative director of. Usually CD's don't draw too much. It's more of an 'over-seeing' position. Wellp, for that to be the case, ya have to have someone to oversee. And there was no one else for quite some time. :)
So many hours spent drawing this stuff, concepting a world, creating memories that hopefully resonate with kids everywhere. And the launch is only the beginning for Webosaurs. Only the beginning, I tells ya!! Mwhahawahaha.
Ahem.
Anyway-go check it out if ya get the chance...
www.juiceharder.com
Click on the 'webosaurs' option on the top header.
And fer cryssakes get any kids you know to play the game....that means YOU, teachers! It's educational, fun, safe, and funny. And it's getting quite a following so far...just youtube 'Webosaurs' and see the videos kids are making.
Monday, July 20, 2009
HORNS and ME
Me and my friend, Mr. Horns.
If you're in DALLAS this weekend, ya gotta goto The Dallas World Aquarium to witness the launch of WEBOSAURS, the world's next HUGE MMO, entertainment property and all around kickass spectacle. Nigel Marven will be there, fer cryin out loud!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Thank Your Heart, You Ingrate
Breathing.
Just nice and slow. In and out. Your heart never stops beating until you die. Pump blood=alive. No pump=dead. As simple as that.
Isn't that an insane thought? This "thing" in your body pumps blood ALL the time. Every day you're breathing is a day that your heart is working for you.
Have you paid it lately? It's working really hard in there! For you!!
How do you reward it? Have you ever thanked it? It works for you all day, you SOB.
Pumping, pum-pumping---pum-pumping---pum-pumping.
Stuck inside your ribcage with a bunch of other weirdly shaped slimey things. I wonder if it even likes it's roomates?
What have you given it lately? Have you rewarded it? Really, how?
Drink a ton of hooch and passed out, only to have it work through the night to keep your drunk ass alive?
Did you thank it in the morning? Most likely not.
You probably went out to a greasey breakfast with the other non-thankers you hung out with the night before and started assaulting it with more of the same, didn't you?
Oh, I'm not pointing fingers. I'm guilty as charged. I've been there. Lord knows how many times.
But, I stand before you, and I tell you that I'm thanking my heart from now on.
Thanks for helping me, Heart. I love you. And I love what you do for me.
Helping me live so that I can type and draw and sing and dance and smile and feel and yell and pay rent. And ya know what?
While I'm at it, I'm gonna throw a shout-out to my lungs, too, cause they're pretty cool, too. And a big-ups to my liver. Lord knows that guy's put in some over time.
Thanks thanks thanks.
I mean it, Fer-crysssakes! I hope they keep working for me for at least 70 more years. Cause I'm a great damn employer! Sure, I'll have the occasional hazardous night or two, but for the most part, I give my employees what they need. Protein, carbs, Vitamins, and other things I can't think of. I give my guys what they need to perform their best.
Cause I wanna be old and dirty. I wanna say whatever I want and have my grandkids go "Grampa!" and then I'd say "Whaaaaaat?" and I'd throw my arms up in the air, acting like I didn't know what I said was wrong, but actually knowing the entire time it was probably pretty dirty.
That's going to be so surreal and I look forward to it very much.
Okay, that's enough.
Thank your heart. That's all I ask.
It's the employee of your life until the day it quits, isn't it?
No matter how big your head gets and how cool you think you are, know that a 12-ounce organism controls your destiny.
That's why I call mine 'Boss.'
So I guess that makes ME the employee.
Huh.
God Bless You.
(This blog was originally posted on Myspace on July 11, 2007. Back when people actually checked Mypsace. I tweaked and re-posted tonight because I felt like repeating myself. There's nothing wrong with that. Comedians repeat their shit every night in a different city. So, if you've read this one before, I apologize. I hope it wasn't as bad the second time. Go buy a mug.)
Just nice and slow. In and out. Your heart never stops beating until you die. Pump blood=alive. No pump=dead. As simple as that.
Isn't that an insane thought? This "thing" in your body pumps blood ALL the time. Every day you're breathing is a day that your heart is working for you.
Have you paid it lately? It's working really hard in there! For you!!
How do you reward it? Have you ever thanked it? It works for you all day, you SOB.
Pumping, pum-pumping---pum-pumping---pum-pumping.
Stuck inside your ribcage with a bunch of other weirdly shaped slimey things. I wonder if it even likes it's roomates?
What have you given it lately? Have you rewarded it? Really, how?
Drink a ton of hooch and passed out, only to have it work through the night to keep your drunk ass alive?
Did you thank it in the morning? Most likely not.
You probably went out to a greasey breakfast with the other non-thankers you hung out with the night before and started assaulting it with more of the same, didn't you?
Oh, I'm not pointing fingers. I'm guilty as charged. I've been there. Lord knows how many times.
But, I stand before you, and I tell you that I'm thanking my heart from now on.
Thanks for helping me, Heart. I love you. And I love what you do for me.
Helping me live so that I can type and draw and sing and dance and smile and feel and yell and pay rent. And ya know what?
While I'm at it, I'm gonna throw a shout-out to my lungs, too, cause they're pretty cool, too. And a big-ups to my liver. Lord knows that guy's put in some over time.
Thanks thanks thanks.
I mean it, Fer-crysssakes! I hope they keep working for me for at least 70 more years. Cause I'm a great damn employer! Sure, I'll have the occasional hazardous night or two, but for the most part, I give my employees what they need. Protein, carbs, Vitamins, and other things I can't think of. I give my guys what they need to perform their best.
Cause I wanna be old and dirty. I wanna say whatever I want and have my grandkids go "Grampa!" and then I'd say "Whaaaaaat?" and I'd throw my arms up in the air, acting like I didn't know what I said was wrong, but actually knowing the entire time it was probably pretty dirty.
That's going to be so surreal and I look forward to it very much.
Okay, that's enough.
Thank your heart. That's all I ask.
It's the employee of your life until the day it quits, isn't it?
No matter how big your head gets and how cool you think you are, know that a 12-ounce organism controls your destiny.
That's why I call mine 'Boss.'
So I guess that makes ME the employee.
Huh.
God Bless You.
(This blog was originally posted on Myspace on July 11, 2007. Back when people actually checked Mypsace. I tweaked and re-posted tonight because I felt like repeating myself. There's nothing wrong with that. Comedians repeat their shit every night in a different city. So, if you've read this one before, I apologize. I hope it wasn't as bad the second time. Go buy a mug.)
You know you want one...
Get it here:
http://www.zazzle.com/lil_italy_coffee_mug-168968516169437154?rf=238148394400573302
Friday, July 17, 2009
Webosaurs go Grindhouse
We needed a Webosaurs poster to go outside of a theater that's playing our Webosodes. I decided to go a little Grindhouse with it.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Dick's Last Resort
Ok, I'm gonna go off for a second. Not too long, cause Negativeville is a lonely place and makes my head hurt if I stay there for extended lengths, but I need to visit it for the length of this blog in order to properly express my feelings towards a restaurant chain which I recently had the extreme dis-pleasure of visiting.
It's called Dick's Last Resort.
I went there for the first time last week with a group of co-workers of mine. We went for nostalgic purposes, as our previous place of employment had been gutted and this very Dick's put in its place.
Ya know the concept to this shithole, right? Walk in and get treated like a douchebag by a bunch of dickheads. Men and women dickheads.
I can't believe the place is still in business. I like a themed restaurant as much as the next asshole, but constantly being belittled by a dickhead that serves crappy food?
Why would anyone EVER return? It's like the shittiest first date ever.
Does anyone out there like this dump? Show of hands...that's what I thought. Not one person.
And it MIGHT be tolerable if the food was edible in any sense of the word.
But it's not. In fact, the food is the worst part.
The waitress actually asked how our lunch was and I told her that I'd need to go get another lunch after we left, cause these chicken fingers sucked.
I didn't care. Hey, they don't care, I don't care. Let's just be real humans right now. She served me shitty tendies and was a dickhead about it.
She already tied a bib around me. At that point, once a bib has been tied around your neck, you lose all sense of manners.
There was just a level of forced discomfort the entire time. I wanna goto a restaurant and eat, not to be on my toes the whole time when Nazi waitress shows up and spills BBQ sauce in my lap.
I wanted to punch the dick-manager.
Just please make Dick's Last Resort your last resort for any meal. Actually, it shouldn't be a resort at all. Take it off your list.
It's worthless and I had bib-lines on my neck for the rest of the day.
Looked like I tried to hang myself.
Which woulda made sense after an experience like that.
...Annnd leaving Negativeville. Wasn't a bad trip, was it? In and out.
It's called Dick's Last Resort.
I went there for the first time last week with a group of co-workers of mine. We went for nostalgic purposes, as our previous place of employment had been gutted and this very Dick's put in its place.
Ya know the concept to this shithole, right? Walk in and get treated like a douchebag by a bunch of dickheads. Men and women dickheads.
I can't believe the place is still in business. I like a themed restaurant as much as the next asshole, but constantly being belittled by a dickhead that serves crappy food?
Why would anyone EVER return? It's like the shittiest first date ever.
Does anyone out there like this dump? Show of hands...that's what I thought. Not one person.
And it MIGHT be tolerable if the food was edible in any sense of the word.
But it's not. In fact, the food is the worst part.
The waitress actually asked how our lunch was and I told her that I'd need to go get another lunch after we left, cause these chicken fingers sucked.
I didn't care. Hey, they don't care, I don't care. Let's just be real humans right now. She served me shitty tendies and was a dickhead about it.
She already tied a bib around me. At that point, once a bib has been tied around your neck, you lose all sense of manners.
There was just a level of forced discomfort the entire time. I wanna goto a restaurant and eat, not to be on my toes the whole time when Nazi waitress shows up and spills BBQ sauce in my lap.
I wanted to punch the dick-manager.
Just please make Dick's Last Resort your last resort for any meal. Actually, it shouldn't be a resort at all. Take it off your list.
It's worthless and I had bib-lines on my neck for the rest of the day.
Looked like I tried to hang myself.
Which woulda made sense after an experience like that.
...Annnd leaving Negativeville. Wasn't a bad trip, was it? In and out.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
What my friends at work think of me...
The top one is by Dustin D'Arnault and the bottom one is by Yashar Kassai.
These drawings have cemented their places in my life forever.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Webosaurs. PREPARE YOURSELF.
Here's a recent image of the Webosaurs game, now open for PUBLIC Beta testing at www.beta.webosaurs.com.
Awesome job to the talented Ray Chase for the posing and to the furious man-beast Yashar Kassai for the sickening BG matte painting. Also to the rest of the team for lighting and rendering action.
This will be a 17 foot wide banner at the OFFICIAL WEBOSAURS LAUNCH PARTY at the DALLAS WORLD AQUARIUM, July 25th-27th.
Awesome job to the talented Ray Chase for the posing and to the furious man-beast Yashar Kassai for the sickening BG matte painting. Also to the rest of the team for lighting and rendering action.
This will be a 17 foot wide banner at the OFFICIAL WEBOSAURS LAUNCH PARTY at the DALLAS WORLD AQUARIUM, July 25th-27th.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Thought of the Day
Approaching 30 and single is like playing musical chairs and you know the song's about to end. Just sit down already.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
If you..
If you were the sky
you'd be blue,
And all day long
I'd stare at you.
Okay, holdup. That's not entirely true. I think that might be excessive. Staring at you all damn day? Come on.
I saw a couple at dinner once that stared at one another the entire time. Not talking. Just sat and stared at one another. Their hands would blindly search for their glasses of wine while their eyes held strong. The guy cut himself trying to butter his bread. The woman brought a spoon of soup to her mouth only to spill it down her blouse. The guy didn't even look down to check out the soup-boobs.
They were entranced. Nothing mattered.
Their magical eye-embrace tortured me. I, in turn, couldn't stop staring at them. I think they were making love with the other's retina. It was the single freakiest and most heartfelt moment I've ever witnessed.
If you were a dog
you'd be loud
And every day
I'd call you proud.
But that would be a damn lie. You wouldn't be proud if you were a dog. Unless you were one of the ones from the foo-foo dog shows with the bows and clean asses. But even those ones aren't proud, I bet. You seen the poodle cut? I got my cat one of those, and guess what? She knew she looked ridiculous.
She left a letter on my pillow that read 'how dare you. signed, buttercup.' And it had a little paw print next to it, like an official seal.
I've slept with my eyes open ever since.
If you were a door
you'd be shut,
And every day
You'd be a sl---
Hey kids!? What's that? Yes, I agree. Let's shut that door and open a new one. Door number three, maybe. Or One. I never take the middle door. Ya gotta make a choice in life. The middle choice is the lack of choice. That's the given. That's why they always put the good shit behind door number two. Because they know nobody ever takes it and they don't wanna lose their sweet prizes.
And since people like making firm resolves and choices, they put the crappy stuff behind the other two, so that the person gets screwed with something less than sweet.
That's why I've just switched my stance on what door I take in life.
Always and forever from here on out in life I will choose the middle door. I've just talked myself into it.
you'd be blue,
And all day long
I'd stare at you.
Okay, holdup. That's not entirely true. I think that might be excessive. Staring at you all damn day? Come on.
I saw a couple at dinner once that stared at one another the entire time. Not talking. Just sat and stared at one another. Their hands would blindly search for their glasses of wine while their eyes held strong. The guy cut himself trying to butter his bread. The woman brought a spoon of soup to her mouth only to spill it down her blouse. The guy didn't even look down to check out the soup-boobs.
They were entranced. Nothing mattered.
Their magical eye-embrace tortured me. I, in turn, couldn't stop staring at them. I think they were making love with the other's retina. It was the single freakiest and most heartfelt moment I've ever witnessed.
If you were a dog
you'd be loud
And every day
I'd call you proud.
But that would be a damn lie. You wouldn't be proud if you were a dog. Unless you were one of the ones from the foo-foo dog shows with the bows and clean asses. But even those ones aren't proud, I bet. You seen the poodle cut? I got my cat one of those, and guess what? She knew she looked ridiculous.
She left a letter on my pillow that read 'how dare you. signed, buttercup.' And it had a little paw print next to it, like an official seal.
I've slept with my eyes open ever since.
If you were a door
you'd be shut,
And every day
You'd be a sl---
Hey kids!? What's that? Yes, I agree. Let's shut that door and open a new one. Door number three, maybe. Or One. I never take the middle door. Ya gotta make a choice in life. The middle choice is the lack of choice. That's the given. That's why they always put the good shit behind door number two. Because they know nobody ever takes it and they don't wanna lose their sweet prizes.
And since people like making firm resolves and choices, they put the crappy stuff behind the other two, so that the person gets screwed with something less than sweet.
That's why I've just switched my stance on what door I take in life.
Always and forever from here on out in life I will choose the middle door. I've just talked myself into it.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Independant Cavemen Holiday
We're not that different, you and I. We share many common interests. Breathing, for one. I'm sure we both like that activity. Chances are that we dislike a lot of the same things, too. Cancer. Mimes. Our photos from the mid 90's.
But the Fourth of July weekend is a time to share a lot of these likable common interests with a lot of people. Beer. Dangerous explosions. Grilling meat. Floating in vessels on water. Staying in the sun.
These simple activities date back to the cavemen days, I'm positive. Ya know how I know? Because I feel like a caveman when I'm partaking in them.
'Look. Light in sky. Beer me. Oooga booga. Put meat on fire. Fooga Dooga. Beer me again. More light in sky. More meat. Check her out.'
Not much has changed, has it? I'm not saying that I don't love it. Because I do. And I find I make a pretty damn good caveman guy. I've got hairy shoulders and I draw like they did. Not like those ridiculous Geico apes, though. With the snide comebacks, techno music and tennis shorts. Nah, I prefer jorts. I digress.
But this weekend has once again proven to me that most folks are inherently simple. And that is a great thing.
If the sheer celebration of the fourth of July involved any more than sitting around, conversing with friends, drinking hooch and peeing in pools/rivers/lakes all day, than I think we'd be doing something wrong as a country. What, like ya don't do it. Just go. Nobody cares. Ya think someone cares? Who? Nobody, that's who. Dick Nobody. Actually a cool guy, just a weird name.
We contributed to this independance celebration all weekend long. We floated a river on Friday. It's always an event. Who's got the cooler? How many tubes? Where do ya keep the wallets? Keys? Locking the car? The stress levels pre-river floating are monumental. For something that's supposed to be as relaxing as floating in an inner-tube down a shallow river, it sure is a damned event to get to it. There's a waiver. A guy with a bull horn barking out commands.
'RIGHT, RIGHT, LEFT' he says.
He must be really good at floating in a tube down a river, I'm thinking. He was once the best, I bet. Just listen to how well he knows this slow-moving body of foot deep water! Better listen to him or else we're done for.
Once you're on the river, though, that's when the fun begins. It took us an hour to go 15 yards. People love it. Don't you dare arm paddle. Just enjoy it. ENJOY it.
Until ya your ass bottom's out on Plymouth Rock and ya flop into the rapids, you drunk piece of shit. Keys fly away. Wallet gets douched. Friends laugh/point. Girlfriend yells 'You loser' at you in between frenches with a local. You put your feet down river and try that technique you saw in that one movie. Life flashes before your eyes. There's the one that got away and you realize you didn't tell your family you love them enough. Eyes fill with tears. Rocks scrape canyons into your ass cheeks. Bat-like shriek emits from your nose.
All of the sudden a girl/angel grabs you by the shoulders and stands you up. The water was 8 inches deep. You ARE a loser. And you're crying. A crying loser that bat-shrieks from his nose and gets saved by tiny angel-girls half your size. She's hot, though, you see. Where's the beer, you wonder.
You make me sick.
(This has never happened to me, btw.
No way.
I always tell my family I love them.)
But the Fourth of July weekend is a time to share a lot of these likable common interests with a lot of people. Beer. Dangerous explosions. Grilling meat. Floating in vessels on water. Staying in the sun.
These simple activities date back to the cavemen days, I'm positive. Ya know how I know? Because I feel like a caveman when I'm partaking in them.
'Look. Light in sky. Beer me. Oooga booga. Put meat on fire. Fooga Dooga. Beer me again. More light in sky. More meat. Check her out.'
Not much has changed, has it? I'm not saying that I don't love it. Because I do. And I find I make a pretty damn good caveman guy. I've got hairy shoulders and I draw like they did. Not like those ridiculous Geico apes, though. With the snide comebacks, techno music and tennis shorts. Nah, I prefer jorts. I digress.
But this weekend has once again proven to me that most folks are inherently simple. And that is a great thing.
If the sheer celebration of the fourth of July involved any more than sitting around, conversing with friends, drinking hooch and peeing in pools/rivers/lakes all day, than I think we'd be doing something wrong as a country. What, like ya don't do it. Just go. Nobody cares. Ya think someone cares? Who? Nobody, that's who. Dick Nobody. Actually a cool guy, just a weird name.
We contributed to this independance celebration all weekend long. We floated a river on Friday. It's always an event. Who's got the cooler? How many tubes? Where do ya keep the wallets? Keys? Locking the car? The stress levels pre-river floating are monumental. For something that's supposed to be as relaxing as floating in an inner-tube down a shallow river, it sure is a damned event to get to it. There's a waiver. A guy with a bull horn barking out commands.
'RIGHT, RIGHT, LEFT' he says.
He must be really good at floating in a tube down a river, I'm thinking. He was once the best, I bet. Just listen to how well he knows this slow-moving body of foot deep water! Better listen to him or else we're done for.
Once you're on the river, though, that's when the fun begins. It took us an hour to go 15 yards. People love it. Don't you dare arm paddle. Just enjoy it. ENJOY it.
Until ya your ass bottom's out on Plymouth Rock and ya flop into the rapids, you drunk piece of shit. Keys fly away. Wallet gets douched. Friends laugh/point. Girlfriend yells 'You loser' at you in between frenches with a local. You put your feet down river and try that technique you saw in that one movie. Life flashes before your eyes. There's the one that got away and you realize you didn't tell your family you love them enough. Eyes fill with tears. Rocks scrape canyons into your ass cheeks. Bat-like shriek emits from your nose.
All of the sudden a girl/angel grabs you by the shoulders and stands you up. The water was 8 inches deep. You ARE a loser. And you're crying. A crying loser that bat-shrieks from his nose and gets saved by tiny angel-girls half your size. She's hot, though, you see. Where's the beer, you wonder.
You make me sick.
(This has never happened to me, btw.
No way.
I always tell my family I love them.)
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