Thursday, July 16, 2009

Dick's Last Resort

Ok, I'm gonna go off for a second. Not too long, cause Negativeville is a lonely place and makes my head hurt if I stay there for extended lengths, but I need to visit it for the length of this blog in order to properly express my feelings towards a restaurant chain which I recently had the extreme dis-pleasure of visiting.
It's called Dick's Last Resort.
I went there for the first time last week with a group of co-workers of mine. We went for nostalgic purposes, as our previous place of employment had been gutted and this very Dick's put in its place.
Ya know the concept to this shithole, right? Walk in and get treated like a douchebag by a bunch of dickheads. Men and women dickheads.
I can't believe the place is still in business. I like a themed restaurant as much as the next asshole, but constantly being belittled by a dickhead that serves crappy food?
Why would anyone EVER return? It's like the shittiest first date ever.
Does anyone out there like this dump? Show of hands...that's what I thought. Not one person.
And it MIGHT be tolerable if the food was edible in any sense of the word.
But it's not. In fact, the food is the worst part.
The waitress actually asked how our lunch was and I told her that I'd need to go get another lunch after we left, cause these chicken fingers sucked.
I didn't care. Hey, they don't care, I don't care. Let's just be real humans right now. She served me shitty tendies and was a dickhead about it.
She already tied a bib around me. At that point, once a bib has been tied around your neck, you lose all sense of manners.
There was just a level of forced discomfort the entire time. I wanna goto a restaurant and eat, not to be on my toes the whole time when Nazi waitress shows up and spills BBQ sauce in my lap.
I wanted to punch the dick-manager.
Just please make Dick's Last Resort your last resort for any meal. Actually, it shouldn't be a resort at all. Take it off your list.
It's worthless and I had bib-lines on my neck for the rest of the day.
Looked like I tried to hang myself.
Which woulda made sense after an experience like that.

...Annnd leaving Negativeville. Wasn't a bad trip, was it? In and out.

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