Two colleagues of mine and I sat down one day on a patio in our loafers, sipping our espressos, mine a double, and conversation turned worldly, as it usually does. The sun was fierce and high, but the subtle breeze drifted over our man stubble smoothly, and we were cooled. We spoke of the far reaches of this marvelous globe we're inhabiting, of the many daunting issues facing our civilization, of famine, racism, sexism, ignorance. The cruelty we bestow upon one another is almost too much to bear, we decided.
We sipped our espressos in silence. There was no more breeze.
And then it came to us, simultaneously, and all at once. We realized that we needed to act. We needed to combat the evil and unruliness in the world by attacking it with our mouths, our lyrics, for even though none of us had ever rapped an original lyric in our lives, we thought it best to begin now, and end the hate once and for all. Put an end to ignorance. An end to greed and tyranny.
This would be the beginning. OPEN KIMONO was born.
Later that same afternoon, on a stroll through a museum is Vienna, we came up with our first single. I was studying a Renoir, the strokes, each one arousing my nether regions, and I thought up the title. We would make our first assault on inhumanity, the title track of our album perhaps, and that song would be called 'Oogling Titties Popping Clitties.'
So, without further adieu, I present, the savior of humanity.
This, my friends, is OPEN KIMONO.