Naps at Whole Foods

Get up. Get out. Now. We've got to move.

I had passed out in the aisle of Whole Foods again, it's fine, they told me it was fine. I slept near the protein juice section, near the cold, right near the humming. The little mexican man came by to spritz the veggies with his hose every once in awhile, but I didn't pay him any heed. I was asleep and he was just doing his job.

But now it was time to move. The crowd was coming. It was opening. Whole Foods was becoming open for business.

I stood up as fastly as I could. I put on the apron that I was using as a pillow. It was wadded and wrinkled but I smoothed it out well enough. I'm sure I looked the part.

Time for the morning shift. It was the morning and that meant that I now had to work. I was going to make the soup and put the silver linings on the top once I was done with the soup making. The linings sometimes fell in the soup bowl and contaminated the soup. Ha. Yea, right. It was contaminated long before the top fell in. Have you seen the people that work here with me? I mean, I was just sleeping on the floor five minutes ago and now I'm about to make you a sandwich.

I'm not here to get people in trouble.

I wandered near the peanut butter making machine and wondered what hoity toity well-to-do was going to flip this switch today. I turned it on and let some flood into my palm. It was warm and gooky. Gunky. It was Goopy. I loved it. I took a smattering and smattered it into my mouth hole.

Eduardo walked by and gave me the stinky stink eyes. Fuck him. I saw him rubbing off to Erica the other day after his shift was done. I know he was doing it to her cause he was muttering her name. Listen, I don't want to see these things, these things that scar me for life, but I end up seeing them, somehow, over the course of the day time.

I wiped the remainder of the peanut butter from the spout, flung some at Eduardo, direct hit, and made my way to the deli section to act busy for hours on end and ignore customers, you especially, you vagrant.

Oh, lookit the time, it's nigh time the baby gets on his back in the drink section and takes himself a little kitty nap.

Goodbye world, I'll see you in a touch.