If this guy is going to take me, I thought, it won't be without a fight. I raised my knotted fist for him to see and I spoke the following words:
'Why don't you go ahead and just..just, that's enough.'
Sure, the words themselves aren't necessarily menacing, but it was the way in which they were delivered that made them so. They slid out from my lips like they were stealing second.
But the words found their mark. The man did as he was told. Eased away. He saw that I 'MEANT BUSINESS' and knew he had met his match that day.
That day at the grocery. Heaven help the sucker who try and take my spot in the 10 items or less self scanner lane while I unknowingly thumb through US Weekly (Jake Gyllenhalls of Medicine and Talyor Swiffer Wipes?)
And don't go backwards through the grocery store, either. Start at the bread and salad area just like everyone else, what makes you think you're any better. Zig zag your way through the rest of the store. There's a flow to the grocery. Don't mess with that flow. It's been passed on from grocer to grocer. It's tried and true. They've been working years on that progress. What have you been working for years on? Your life and family? Pffff.
You get to the pharmacy at the end, Magellan. The itching cream can wait. Trust me. And let's do away with stopping your cart in the middle of the aisle to do the calorie countdown. Hellman's versus Miracle. I give a helluva 'like it matters' face, Tubby, and I'm not afraid to use it. Just be considerate.
Which is my final point. Just be considerate. I feel like 'being considerate' is from a bygone era. It should be a new political party, the Considerates. That elect is sure to win. He's a Considerate (not a Confederate, mind you, they do sound similar.)
Be Considerate. If you're not considering how others will react to your existence in public, you might be in for some surprises. An idiot might not consider stopping at a red, octagon sign that reads 'STOP' on it and he might just smash into your smart car. A buffoon might not consider locking the door to his bathroom stall so that when you go to open said stall door, it does, and then you stumble in on a dude with his pants around his legs reading this blog on his ipad.
We're all here on this planet together, people. Consider your fellow human being life forms and lock the damned stall door, already.
Saying 'Thank You' is considerate.
Holding the door is considerate.
Telling a guy whose girlfriend got tag-teamed by the entire wait-staff at Chili's is, you guessed it, considerate.
I'm damn considerate. I'll stop typing now.