Tuesday, August 3, 2010

How to SELL

Here are some lines I've used over the past few days when trying to sell my old stuff. Some work better than others.

'That right there is brand ne---eh, it's about 3 years old.'

'That's a FULL set, except for five.'

'Don't get my hopes up. The whole package for 10 bucks. Or howsabout 5. Fine, free. Take 'em. Get the hell outta here.'

'Those shirts will make chicks want you. Do you understand that? They're priceless. Not for sale. Give 'em here.'

'Again, if ya want the paints, ya got 'em. Just gimme a buck a tube. But after that, they're yours.'

'This scanner works fine. Just not with my computer. And probably not with yours, either.'

'I will not break the set. All or nothing. Second thought, the set is overrated. Take one and let's see if that doesn't warm ya up.'

'Put that shirt on and I'm not responsible for what happens next. If a girl attacks you, I'm on record for saying I'm not responsible.'

'At least put the magazines back where ya found 'em. What is this, Ross Dress for Less?'

'You should be paying ME to take that from me. Oh wait, that's what's happening. Sorry.'

'Enough with the looking and the not buying. Ya look, ya touch, ya hold, ya buy. If you pick it up, don't put it back down or I'll punch you in the neck.'

'I've got it all. Old clothes, some pens, an iron, a fax machine. You name it, I got it.'
Question-'Whaddabout any neck ties?'
'Nope don't got 'em. Name something else.'

'This art bin will really get the kids excited about art, right? I know I'm right. Don't let them eat the chalk pastels.'

'If this shirt doesn't get you 3 phone numbers the first night you wear it, then you must be wearing it wrong.'

'That's this season's last season's fashion.'


  1. Hey Juiceking! I play Webosaurs and was looking for one of your Webosaurs pictures. I went to your blog and saw that you changed it and got rid of a bunch of your pictures. Do you still have your whole webosaurs gallery somewhere? I am trying to find the "webosaurs painted symbols". Its on one of the mugs on zazzle.com if you don't know what I mean (Just search webosaurs). So anyway thanks for the help if you can!

  2. Yo Ethanator! Thanks for writing--I sure do have that old Webosaurs Gallery up---here it is:
    The painted symbols are on some rock signs in one of the images. I can always find them and post them by themselves if you'd like!
    Keep rock'n!

  3. Thanks so much but it doesn't look like all of them are there. But anyway thanks so much I got what I needed. You rock and ned too come on more!