Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Truth of the Day #32

Every time you let me down, I realize that I'm the idiot.

This Truth comes on the heels of giving a 20 to a dude in a suit that told me his car broke down and he had a meeting to get to and his wife had his cell phone. He looked honest. Good face, nice bulbous head, hair like a lion, tan like a mit. And that's how I shoulda known. Guy was tan and straight. That's not possible. I shoulda known. But I gave him twenty. He thanked me, got my email 'cause he was going to reimburse me, and walked away. He was going to reimburse me through email. Guess I'd give him my address then and he'd send the check over.
Whatta gentleman. Whatta stand-up guy. And now I felt good, too.
Helping people helps you.
Three weeks later I walked out of a gas station near my place. No email from suit-guy, yet, but I'm sure it would come. I had a slushie in one hand and skittles in the other. I was having a good day.
Until I saw him. I saw the guy.
Same suit. Same tie. Same breifcase. Same tan.
He was standing next to a minivan and using the same lines he used on me to another woman. I felt dirty. I coulda ignored him.
Act like I didn't see him, realize I gave money to a bum and be happy that maybe I got him high for an hour.
But I didn't.
I decided to yell at him.
'Hey, YOU!'
He looked over at me. His eyes bulged. Knuckles turned white on the briefcase. He remembered me.
He ran.
I didn't chase him.
No point. My slushie woulda spillt and I had a cool shirt on.
I did, however, decide to yell at him some more.
'Yea, you better go. Ya hear me? RUN. Keep going, Jack! I'm the idiot. Ya got me. I'm the dumbass. Suit and tie? Briefcase? That's what gets ol' Harder to fork over his livelihood. A simple outfit. Just put an outfit on and the ol' moron will give you the keys to the castle. Oh look, a homeless man wants money. Not today, bum. Ya need to put on a costume to get me. Not a huge deal, just a suit, tie and briefcase will suffice. A guy painted like a statue who doesn't move. Or a fireman's outfitt with a boot. Santa outside the grocery. It doesn't matter. Be wearing something different than me and chances are, I'll give you money.'
Just then a cop pulled up to me and told me I was disturbing the peace. He was going to bring me in, he said.
I gave him a hundo, got in my car and came home to write this.

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