Pizza Hut and Radio Shack no longer like their names. They're both asking us to stop calling them the names we've called them for years and to call them a version of their old names instead.
They're asking us to lose the first word in their two word names and in that vast empty space we're supposed to sub in the word 'The.'
Who's the mastermind behind this change? I heard it was Leonard Moron, head of Moron Advertising on First and Jefferson. He sat down Pizza Hut and Radio Shack and said the following (Somehow I've got the transcript from that meeting. Fuckin' crazy, I know. Here it is) :
'Listen...guys. We've worked this up every which way ya CAN work this up. Sleepless nights. Thousands of logos, taglines. Coffee breaks. Think breaks. Pencil breaks. But we've solved it. What I'm about to tell you will change your lives, and in turn, change ours.
What we at Moron Ad propose is the ol' switcheroo. Take out one word, replace it with another word. This switcheroo will make all the difference, though. The word we've chosen to sub into both of your names is actually the same word.
Two birds, one stone.
This word is a fairly common word, in fact I've said it multiple times already.
I'm talking, of course, about the word 'THE.'
So, Pizza Hut: You'll now be 'THE Hut.' And Radio Shack: You're 'THE Shack.' BOOM. Huhh? Huh? (straightens tie, hands to hips, eye contact, high fives his Moron Ad underlings, waits for client reaction)
Pizza Hut and Radio Shack look at one another. They look at Leonard. They look back one another. Silence in the room.
Smiles slowly creep onto their faces.
They both stand up, shake hands with the head of Moron Ad, and go along on their merry ways, happy to have their branding problems all solved by Leonard Moron and the kind family of Morons at Moron Ad.
Ya think it will make a difference, guys? Pizza Hut? Well, I can't hate on them too much. It ain't great but it's better than a needle to the eye. That doesn't mean I've had it in the last 5 years, cause I honestly don't think I have. I'm sure the deep dish is still deep and the wings still aren't Cha Cha's in Sarasota.
But Radio Shack? If I ever need batteries or a remote controlled june-bug, I'd STILL check Best Buy first.
'The' or no 'The'. You're still both dumps.