It's True

Never Change

I've been told that being plugged on Motionographer (the world's biggest Motion Graphics site) would go straight to my head. Well, I'm here to say that's simply not gonna happen.
I'm still the same ol' Juiceking and always will be. I put my brand-new-but-made-to-look-old designer jeans on one leg at a time, just like everyone else. Sure they're made of endangered Caraboo hair, but aren't yours?
And then I lace up the same ol' Moon boots I always have. They were worn by Neil Armstrong when he walked on the moon, I guess. Whatever. I added a custom 'Juiceharder' design all over 'em so ya can't even really tell they've been on the moon anymore. Boom, baby. Nothing new so far, home-skittles.
Same ol' leather hoodie with built in Wacom pen sub-pouch and 'Juiceharder.com' bedazzled on the back in the talons of a dragon that's sitting his bigass on a skull that's on fire. Again, I'm not gonna change, not for nobodies.
I've also got the same small-lensed black-frame glasses I've always had, and no they've not got a prescription so feel free to try 'em on, brolazurus. They're made of molten lava rock carved out of Mount St. Helens. No big deals.
Hold up, what's that Winthrop? Yea, put the new gold encrusted Wacom over there, I'll get it as soon as I'm done. Sure, next to the 60" Ultra Sharp Monitor and complimentary shipments of designer drugs and Red Bull. Perfect, thanks Winthrop. Oh, and Winthrop, get me a table at KOI or TROI or TRON tonight. Vodka, sushi and chicks. Lots of each. You know how I do, Winny. Don't disappoint or your ass is grass, you piece of shit.
So, yea, where was I? Oh right. Yea, I'm never gonna change. Did I mention the Red Bull? Right, I'm sponsored by them, Monster Milk and Adobe now, so make sure to go out and grab you some of that 'ish, broheims.
Lates and skates, bra's

Monsters vs. Aliens Imax 3D

See it. You'll be happy you did.

Poster Time

Lil' Italy

I saw a couple of comments on the Motionographer blurb that asked why 'people that don't animate are on a motion graphics site?'
Wellp, I've animated before and intend to animate again. It's fun, but I can only take short bursts of it. It tends to lull me into what I call, the After Effects Coma. Keyframe to keyframe, CC Bend, do a little Mesh Warp and then Easy Ease it into the cradle.
I wrote, voiced, directed, produced and co-animated a cartoon called 'Lil' Italy' that made it into 6 festivals last year. Here it is!

Lazare is open

Here are some shots from inside Lazare (a place I did the logo for) in Uptown Dallas. I snuck in today while they were putting the final touches on the interior. Most of exterior signage is almost complete, and I snapped a shot of the logo on one of the front doors.

A D D

I've been asked if I have ADD. Attention Defecit Disorder.
The answer is 'no' or 'probably not.'
I think saying you have ADD is like givin' yourself a Hall Pass to be a flake.
So, if that's the case, then 'probably not' turns to 'maybe so.'
What's that? Hold up, I gotta go check something.
Okay, I'm back. Yea, so where was I.
Right. ADD. A real tricky disease that makes you and everyone around you feel incapable of holding a conversation that won't end awkwardly.
Huh? One second. Gotta go water the lawn.
Okay. Back. That was great. Watered it real good.
No I didn't. Don't have a lawn. I had to take out the trash.
This is insane, I love typing.

Flash of Genius

Flash of Genius
A fantastic movie about what's right and what's wrong. As an individual that creates for a living, this movie really struck a chord with me. In the film, based on the true story of a local professor that comes up with an idea for an intermitent wiper. In the 50s, all wipers were timed out, I guess, in such a way that you had to trigger it every time you needed it to wipe the windshield. Bob Kearns, played by Greg Kinnear, invents the wiper that we know today. He makes it in his basement. He wants to manufacture the wiper himself. Ford gets wind of the inventon and asks to see it. He livesd in Detroit, so he goes to show them.
They're blown away. Apparently, they'd been trying to master the wiper and had no such luck. They ask for a test unit. Bob says no. They say in order to pursue it as an investment, they'll need to test it. Bob sees their point. Bob apprehensivlry gives them his product.
And here's any creators worst nightmare, and where the film takes off. Ford tells Bob they're not interested anymore. They tell him they're not gonna pursue it. Bob thinks they've jsut taken his invention and duplicated it without including him. His worst fears are right, as he sees it on a new mustang model a month later. They took it. Bob is crushed but demands justice.
I think I've said enough to pique your interest. It's a complicated struggle beween Bob's quest for justice, holding his family together, and the power of 'big-comapny' taking from the little man. A true David vs Goliath story. And its a tearjerker, too. But I cry every time Rudy makes the last tackle, so take it for what it's worth.
Kinnear does an amazing job as the guy who wants to do what's right and wants others to do what's right too. You go along on this journey with him as he turns down settlement offer after settlement offer and his family unravels.
He doesn't care about the settlement money. He wants them to admit they took his invention. He wants them to do what is right.
The buildup to the jury's verdict is as tense as I've seen in recent memories.
And getting that message across in movies today is pretty spectacular.
I think Kinnear was nominated for an Oscar for it, which he deserved to win. The guy is brilliantly good. He can play the guy that you root for. I don't wanna say I feel sorry for him, cause that's a decently easy card to play, I'd imagine. No, ya just root for the guy. Empathy I suppose.
All in all, it made the perfect in flight movie on my trip home from Uruguay. I think I might have been the only one awake to watch it and I'm glad I did.
I can't say I've had the flash of genius moment, yet, buy I look forward to it. I named the second installment of my Cowboys and Indians cartoon 'Flash in the Pants' which is kinds close. Cause of the 'flash' aspect and that prospectors use pans. (Crickets)
Ugh. I ways find a way to put my quippyness on an otherwise heartfelt post. Damned humor as a defense mechanism.

Cool Photo

Beatles from the rafters.

LAZARE DALLAS Blog

Here's the blog for a new bar.restaurant coming into uptown that I've had the priveledge of branding. I even got to chip in with the design and exterior graphics, which is nuts. Can't wait to take some photos of it. Also can't wait for it to open. More info to come---

http://www.lazaredallas.com/

On Point

Well, well, well. If it isn't ol' Jack.

It's not. It's Jim.

Well, well, well. If it isn't ol' Jim.

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Book 'em, Dann O.

The name's not Dan.

Oh.

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Next time? Whaddabout this time?

Starting now.

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I bet you'd listen to me if I was wearing Converse.

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Please don't stop.
Stop what?
...That wasn't you?
What wasn't me?
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It makes sense

So Mad

I'm livid right now. Super pissed. Unbelievably angry. So mad I can feel my blood boiling. Eh, that's a bit of a stretch. But it could be boiling, and my anger and temper are both so escalated that I don't even notice it. I'm talking seriously pissed.
And I better get answers. How did it come to this? I'm blown away. I'm flying away in the wind. Blown away. So surreal.
And to think that this can even happen in today's society makes me wanna spit. Hellooo America? Anyone home? Apparently not. Go back to your TV's. Your pets. Your beloved beds and plush sheets and 15 pillows. 1600 count Egyptian baby thread count materials. Take it. Take it all.
Cause I'm livid and I don't care who knows it.
He took it, didnt' he? He took those kids' meals. That guy gets off on stealing from children. Stealing their food. The Hamburgler really stole kids' Hamburgers. How can he do that. How? Cause he's the Hamburgler. Everyone knows he's an effing Burgler. Why's he not in jail?
He's already in the outfit. He broke out I guess. He burgled his way out. It's not like he's even fooling anyone at this point. He's a thief and he's easy to spot cause his head is massively large and usually he's got, like, a hundred burgers flying around him, because he's stolen way too many to eat.
Whatta selfish prick. They're not even good burgers. Go be a SteakBurgler. Or a BloominOnionBurgler. Steal that sauce that comes with the Bloomin Onion.
But a Hamburgler. Showing kids how to aim low. Why steal the good stuff when ya can take the shit? Nobody cares if ya take the Ham, cause guess what? He's still not behind bars. But if that sumbitch starts Burglering Steak from Ruth's Christ.
Boom. Never see him again.

From the Urban Dictionary
Hamburgler
One who deems it appropriate to burgle ham.

Uzi

'HOT ROUTE' Poster

Hello. This is the poster for the short I was in called 'Hot Route.' Hopefully the short will be up on the internet soon.

Bad Baby, Bad Baby

'It’s readable writing. Captivating, readable writing. (Although, technically, all writing is readable writing. Unless you can’t read, of course, but that’s another story.'
-Alaina Dale Schuster, Houston Literary Critic in reference to my blog's postings.